How to help kids have a good first day of school

Is your child starting school soon?  Kids can experience a wide range of feelings, from anxiety to excitement over the first day of school.  Heightened emotions in any direction will affect your child’s ability to control their impulses and their behavior, but there are things that you can do to help calm their nervous system and prepare them for a good first day of school.

What to do the night before:

Work on having a calm and soothing evening at home and answer any last-minute questions your child might have. Your child will pick up on your energy, so work on staying calm and patient yourself and keeping things peaceful at home. Your child likely already has a heightened nervous system, so you want to help keep things as calm and peaceful as you can.

Give your child a couple of weather— and school-appropriate clothes options, and let them choose what they want to wear on their first day. Giving them the option of picking out their own clothes helps them feel more in control, which helps to calm their heightened nervous system.

If your child is expressing any nervousness around the first day, take a deep breath and respond with a simple hmmm, tell me more.  Often, things can seem worse in our heads, but when we talk about them, we realize they are not as bad as we think.  Studies have shown that the simple act of putting a name to what they are feeling can help ease a child’s heightened emotions. Know that you will want to keep talking to reassure them, but do your best to stay as quiet as possible to let them get their worries out of their head.

If you have a little starting preschool or a first-time kindergartner, let your child pick out a special stuffed animal or blanket and a family picture to pack in their backpack. Knowing these items are there can help your child if they’re feeling lonely.

If you can, give yourself and your child some extra time at bedtime to allow for time to snuggle and connect before it’s time for lights out.  Don’t bring up the first day of school unless your child wants to discuss it.

What to do on the first day of school:

Give yourself plenty of time so you’re not rushed and can ideally have a calm morning. 

Make your child breakfast, and either plan to eat with them or be in the kitchen with them while you’re getting other things ready.

Help your child pack up their backpack.  If they are bringing lunch or snacks, make sure they have their “favorites” to help give them a sense of comfort on their first day.

Review the routine again and remind them what school will be like, how they will get home, and what to expect after school.

With a little preparation and planning ahead, you can help your kids have a successful first day of school!

If you are worried about your child starting school or you’re going through behavioral challenges and don’t know what to do, I can help!  This month in the Confident Parenting Club, we are doing a deep dive into how to support and prepare kids (and yourself) for upcoming changes and going back to school!  Join the club to get all of your most pressing parenting questions answered and support to help your child have a successful start to school.  Click here to check out the Club, and use coupon code SCHOOL to get 25% off when you join.