A Simple Yet Effective Motivator - The Power of a High Five

Have you ever given your child a high five to celebrate an achievement or encourage them to keep going? This small gesture carries a significant impact, and with National High Five Day on April 17th, it's the perfect time to explore how high fives can be a powerful tool for motivation—for both kids and adults.

The Science Behind High Fives
Research has shown that high fives are an incredibly effective way to boost motivation. A study published in Frontiers in Psychology titled “High Fives Motivate” examined the effects of different types of encouragement on school-aged children tackling challenging tasks. The study divided the children into three groups, each receiving a different form of encouragement:

• One group received praise based on personal traits (e.g., "You are a good drawer").
• Another group was praised for their effort (e.g., "You did a good job drawing").
• The third group received a simple high five.

The results? The children who received a high five displayed the highest levels of persistence and motivation, even when facing mistakes. This is because a high five is more than just a gesture—it's a shared celebration. According to Mel Robbins in The High Five Habit, high fives aren’t just about recognition; they create a connection that inspires self-belief.

Encouraging Your Child With High Fives 
When you give your child a high five as encouragement, you're sending a clear and powerful message: I believe in you. Children often look to their parents to gauge their own confidence, and our belief in them can help them push past self-doubt, fear, or nervousness. By using high fives as a form of support, we can help our kids develop resilience and a positive mindset.

The High Five Habit: A Daily Boost for Parents
If you haven’t read The High Five Habit by Mel Robbins, it's a great resource for understanding the science and real-life impact of high fives. Beyond using them with our children, high fives can also be a valuable tool for self-encouragement.

One simple practice to try is giving yourself a high five in the mirror each morning. Parenting—and life in general—can be tough, and we often don’t receive the appreciation we give to others. Over time, this can lead to burnout and resentment. But by acknowledging our own efforts, we can shift our mindset and fuel our own motivation.

 A Marathon, Not a Sprint
Think of life as a marathon. Imagine your future self waiting at the finish line, cheering you on as you navigate challenges, stumbles, and triumphs. How would that version of you treat the current you? Most likely, with encouragement and support—not criticism. Yet, in real life, we often judge ourselves harshly when things don’t go as planned.

Instead, what if we became our own biggest cheerleaders? By incorporating small habits like self-appreciation and high fives, we can transform the way we see ourselves and our efforts. Parenting is demanding, and sometimes just making it through the day is a win—so why not celebrate it?

So next time you're feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to high five yourself in the mirror and say, You're doing great! It may feel silly at first, but the impact can be profound. And, of course, don’t forget to pass on the power of the high five to your kids. After all, a little encouragement can go a long way!

I’m happy to announce that I have an upcoming free and virtual workshop!  On Tuesday, May 20th, I will be teaching my powerful Parent From Neutral strategy in one of my signature workshops: How to Stay Calm & Stop Yelling.  I’ll be covering the common mistakes and misconceptions that cause us to yell, how to break the habit of yelling, and my exact process that will help you stay calm during the most frustrating of situations with your kids.  Click here to register.