What happens when you get triggered

Have you ever stopped to think about what happens when you get triggered or activated as a parent?  Usually, one of our kids does or says something that sets us off.  They behave in a way that we don’t like, and we escalate.  When that happens, what do you do?

I don’t know about you…  But for me, I know that my blood pressure would start to rise. I would start asking myself questions like why can’t they just listen and do what they’re supposed to, I would get all worked up about their behavior, and I would start yelling.

I was not patient.
I was not calm.
I most certainly was not able to parent effectively.

So when I escalated because I didn’t like my kid’s behavior — I ended up misbehaving myself.  I forgot about all of my parenting strategies and tools.  Instead, I acted out and behaved in a way that I would later regret.  Sound familiar?

I have to admit that I didn’t see the correlation between what I was thinking about my kid’s behavior and how I ended up acting myself until I started working with a coach.

It was enlightening and humbling, and I began to work on changing.  As I changed how I was thinking and acting, I got better at managing my own emotions and reactions.  When I kept myself in check, I could remember my parenting strategies and tools — and I was able to parent through difficult times much better.

I can teach tons of tips and all of the strategies in the world of what to do in various challenging situations, but the ability to manage yourself and your ability to respond instead of react are the keys to everything else.  Because if you don’t manage yourself first, all of those strategies are going to fly right out the window as soon as you get activated and you will end up reacting out of frustration or anger.

Learning to manage my emotions and reactions forever changed my relationships with my kids.  These are the skills that I help parents learn because they will change your life, your family and your kid’s lives, and the lives of your future generations — and this is how we build a new emotionally healthy generation from the ground up.  

I’m sharing the simple and easy process that I developed to help parents stay calm and not escalate in an upcoming virtual workshop on May 2nd.  Join me to learn how you can avoid getting triggered so you can keep your cool and parent your best when you need to most.  Click here to get more details and register.