The Difference Between Parenting Strategies & Skills

When you are struggling through challenges with your kids, do you wonder what you should do?  Most parents come to me looking for strategies.  They want to know exactly what they should be doing to get their kids to listen, cooperate, or behave better.

If you read my articles or follow me on social media, you know that I share tips and strategies all the time.  But when I work directly with parents, we work on skills.

The skill of being able to stay calm and keep your cool no matter what is going on with your child.  The skill of being able to parent from a more neutral place so you can parent calmly and effectively. The skill of managing in the midst of challenging moments, because that is when you need to keep it together the most.

You can learn all the strategies, tips, and tricks, but they tend to fly right out the window as soon as you get frustrated, angry, or even anxious.  If you don’t have a space and the support to learn and practice the skills of keeping your cool and parenting from neutral, you will still struggle to manage in the moment when your child is melting down or talking back.

It’s like expecting to be able to learn how to swim from a book without ever getting in the water.  You have to get in the pool to practice, and it really helps to have a coach.

Skills are about who you are BEING as a parent, and strategies are about what you are DOING — and the strategies will not be effective until YOU are effective.

When you develop the skills of managing and regulating your own emotions and parenting from neutral, your kids learn these skills too. 

Strategies are helpful and make parenting easier, but learning the skills is where the real change happens — and teaching our kids these skills is how we raise a new emotionally healthy generation from the ground up.

If you’re ready to work on your parenting skills, I’m going to be teaching my foundational Parent From Neutral process on May 2nd.  The How to Stay Calm & Stop Yelling Workshop is free and virtual.  Click here to sign up today!