Managing Parenting Triggers: How to Stay in Control

Have you ever paused to reflect on what happens when you feel triggered as a parent? It often starts with something your child says or does that sets off an emotional reaction. Maybe they aren’t listening, or they’re acting out in a way you don’t approve of. Before you know it, frustration builds, and emotions escalate.

What do you do in those moments?

For me, my patience used to vanish almost instantly. My blood pressure would rise, and thoughts like Why can’t they just listen? would flood my mind. I’d become frustrated with their behavior, and before I realized it, I was raising my voice.

I wasn’t calm. I wasn’t patient. And I certainly wasn’t parenting in the way I wanted to.

Ironically, while I was reacting to my child’s behavior, I was engaging in behavior I wasn’t proud of either. All my parenting strategies would go out the window, and I’d find myself reacting emotionally instead of responding intentionally. Sound familiar?

The Turning Point: Recognizing the Pattern

I didn’t fully grasp how my thoughts about my child’s behavior influenced my own reactions until I started working with a coach. The realization was both eye-opening and humbling.

As I began to shift my mindset and responses, everything changed. I learned how to manage my own emotions, which allowed me to stay in control and use the parenting tools I had worked so hard to develop. The more I practiced self-regulation, the more effective I became in handling difficult parenting moments.

The Key to Effective Parenting: Managing Yourself First

There are countless parenting strategies and techniques for handling challenging situations, but here’s the truth: None of them will work if you don’t first learn how to regulate your own emotions.

When we are triggered, our ability to think clearly and respond intentionally disappears. Without emotional regulation, even the best parenting strategies will be forgotten in the heat of the moment, leading us to react out of frustration rather than purpose.

Learning to manage my emotions transformed not only my relationship with my children but also the way I approach parenting altogether. This is why I am so passionate about helping parents develop these skills—because emotional regulation doesn’t just impact us. It shapes our children’s experiences, their emotional well-being, and the way they will parent in the future.

By mastering self-regulation, we are creating a foundation for a new, emotionally healthy generation. And it all starts with one simple yet powerful shift: managing ourselves before trying to manage our children.

If this is something you struggle with, I’m going to be teaching my exact process to stay calm and break the habit of yelling in a virtual and free workshop on May 20th.  Click here to register for How To Stay Calm & Stop Yelling.