Pressure To Get It Right As A Parent

Do you stress over whether you’re doing the right thing as a parent?  In my recent live workshops, I had almost every parent asking questions about challenges they were having with their kids.  There were also quite a few parents that were looking for confirmation that they were doing the right thing.  

I could feel the stress and tightness in their shoulders, the boulder pressing on their chest, and the pressure they were putting on themselves to get it “right”. 

Unfortunately, when you put pressure on yourself to get it right as a parent you actually increase your chances of getting it wrong. 

Let’s take a look at what happens in your body when you are stressed and put pressure on yourself.  When you do this, you activate your sympathetic nervous system and your survival response.  Energy flows to your muscles, and away from your brain.  When you are pressuring yourself, your ability to think logically and problem solve goes down while your ability to fight or flee goes up.

When you’re putting pressure on yourself to get it right, you worry about getting it wrong.  Think about what happens when you worry — Your brain is on a loop, running through all of the worst case scenarios.  You can’t focus, you struggle to be present, and you’re stuck in doubt and confusion.  When you’re stressed and worried, it’s really hard to show up and parent your best.

In my workshop, I encouraged parents to let go of some of the pressure and to start trusting themselves more.  

I encouraged them to stop telling themselves “I don’t know what to do to help my child”, and start asking themselves “What can I do to help my child?”.  

I encouraged them to put their hand on their heart and take a deep breath while they tell themselves “I can handle this”.  

I did this as I answered their questions and shared tips because I’m a huge proponent of adding research backed proven strategies and tools to your parenting toolbox.  

I believe that having a strong parenting toolbox and proven tools will relieve stress and increase your confidence in your ability to navigate through challenges with your kids — which is why I coach and run workshops.  But how you show up is a big part of the equation, and putting pressure on yourself to get it right makes it harder.

I invite to let go of some of the pressure, and tell yourself “I’ve got this”.

 I am running a Parent Workshop on How To Parent Through BIG Feelings in Dracut on March 9th, and am scheduling workshops in Beverly and Saugus.  If you want to get notified as I schedule workshops so you can add some new tools to your parenting toolbox and get your most pressing parent questions answered, click here to sign up.