The Power of Sleep: A Game-Changer for Kids with Big Feelings

When working with children who struggle with BIG feelings—those overwhelming emotional reactions that can disrupt daily life—there’s one simple yet powerful tip I always start with in every first coaching session. It’s something so fundamental, yet often overlooked in the search for solutions.

That top tip? SLEEP.

Sleep isn’t just about rest. It plays a vital role in a child’s ability to regulate emotions and manage impulses. The prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for these important functions—is still developing throughout childhood. In fact, it undergoes a major remodel during the teenage years, a process that demands an enormous amount of energy. That’s why kids need more sleep than we might assume—because their brains are working overtime just to develop the tools they need to navigate the world.

This topic came up in a coaching session with a mom whose 5-year-old daughter was struggling with daily emotional outbursts. Mornings were especially rough, with explosive feelings setting the tone for the entire day. Naturally, the mom was exhausted and looking for strategies to help her daughter cope better.

My first question? “What time does she go to bed, and does she wake up on her own?”

The mom replied that her daughter went to bed around 7:30 PM, but they had to wake her in the morning. That was my cue to recommend an earlier bedtime—6:30 PM to be exact.

At first, it might sound extreme. But here’s the reality: children between the ages of 2 and 8 need 10 to 14 hours of sleep every night. And when it comes to emotional regulation, more sleep is better. Some families I work with have kids in bed by 6:00 PM, and it makes a world of difference in their children’s moods, behavior, and ability to handle stress.

The results? That same mom reported her daughter was falling asleep before 7:00 PM and waking up on her own in a much better mood. The morning chaos disappeared, replaced by a more peaceful start to the day.

It’s a powerful reminder that while there are many tools and techniques to help children navigate their emotions, none of them work as well when a child is overtired. Before diving into behavior charts or calming strategies, take a look at your child’s sleep schedule.

Every child is different, and some may need more sleep than others. But if your child consistently struggles with emotional outbursts, bedtime might be the first place to start. Try moving it earlier by 30 minutes or more and see if that makes a difference. You might be surprised by the results.

Sleep isn’t just a basic need—it’s a foundational piece of emotional well-being. So if big feelings are rocking your household, don’t overlook the simplest solution: more rest for growing brains.

I’m happy to announce that I have an upcoming free and virtual workshop!  On Tuesday, May 20th, I will be teaching my powerful Parent From Neutral strategy in one of my signature workshops: How to Stay Calm & Stop Yelling.  I’ll cover the common mistakes and misconceptions that cause us to yell, how to break the habit of yelling, and my exact process that will help you stay calm in the most frustrating situations with your kids.  Click here to register.